Friday, October 14, 2011

He's Not Ready Yet

Being the 27-year-old-single-Mormon girl that I am, I tend to think of marriage and having my own family often. This past year I have found a lot of joy in my life just being single and expriencing the different things life had to offer me personally. Lately, however, as happy as I am single, I have started to feel like something (or someone) is missing. I feel an emptyness and I don't know how to fill it. I have been praying to know what I can do about it and I also can't help but ask, why am I still single?

We had a lesson in church last week that talked about the Lord's timing. It was given by a wonderful girl who actually got married last night. She shared in her lesson her personal journey of finding her fiance'. Something that stood out to me in her story was that after their relationship had become serious they talked about how they had 2 or 3 almost misses in the past few years where they could have met and been married already. At first she was frustrated at the thought, but at further investigation she realized that each of those near misses one or both of them were not ready to meet their eternal companion.

The other day a thought came to me in the middle of class as I was speed building and in the zone of writing,it was kind of random, but very clear "he's not ready yet". As I have thought about that more it made me realize that I can plead and plead with the Lord to fill this void and bless me with my eternal companion, but if he's not ready yet, do I want him? Do I want someone else or do I want to be patient and trust that the Lord knows what and who is best for me? It also made me ask myself, am I ready? I know there is a lot of things I need to work on that will help me be better prepared for dating, relationships, and marriage. I know that it is natural to have feelings of emptyness at times. It is the Lords's plan for us to get married and raise a family, so I am sure our spirits yearn for it. The only thing I have control over, though, is myself and making sure that when our paths do cross I will be ready.

Progress Report

Sorry for not blogging in so long. My life pretty much consist of work and school right now with a little bit of play time if I am not completely exhausted.

I just finished the first 8-week session for the fall semester. I passed:

1 Lit

2 Jury Charges

1 Q&A

Which means I was not able to move up in any of my speeds for the next 8-week session. It's disappointing, but at the same time, I feel good that I am making steady progress. One of my teachers told me that there are some students that haven't passed any speed tests in over a year! So as long as I am passing tests, I am happy.

I realized that with the rate of passing 4 speed tests a session, I will finish school in May of 2013. That will be a total of four years, which is about average in this program. I know I can do a lot better if I practiced every day for at least two hours. I am lucky if I get in three good practices a week right now. I am going to work on that these last 8 weeks and I know I will pass more test!

(wish me luck in steno)